Thursday, March 10, 2011

Let me show you them

WELP, it turns out I'm a geek. Or maybe I'm a nerd, or a dork, I don't even know. They're all little words that mean things and I don't feel like trying to understand those things, because they are dumb things.

What was I talking about? Oh! I'm something. I'm something that collects figurines, whichever word means someone who does that. No, I don't mean collector, because my collection itself is so random I think someone who actually does this as a hobby might be a little offended. This is the internet, I can't go around offending people, now can I?

But back on some semblance of a topic, I have things because I am something, and now there are pictures of those things.

I had meant to make a lightbox, but it turns out that something that I am is probably just lazy because I didn't feel like it. Also I didn't have the supplies. So I did what real photographers do (when drunk), and threw a dirty pillowcase over my desk and snapped some pictures.

I didn't want you to go and expect any semblance of quality from me, after all!

I bought these a while ago. Not as a collector, I bought them because... well, look at them. It's Solid Snake and company as little girls. I couldn't just... not own it. Probably the most expensive thing in my collection, imported from Asialands.

They're in pretty good shape, but I am missing a few things. Otacon's glasses and Ocelot's revolver. Raiden had his sword privileges revoked because he dropped the damn thing too many times, so I gave it to Ocelot.

A tiny Klarion! I was looking into stuff related to him earlier, and found out he had a Heroclix figure. Apparently Heroclix is some kind of game? I don't know, all the figures for it are terribly goofy looking, with huge eyes and weird poses. They're also super small, so there's that.

It was a phase okay leave me alone

Those are just some general things I picked up because I have incredibly weird taste. That feels like it should be a segue into me revealing that I have a more respectable collection full of completely normal things, but it turns out what I have the most of is even weirder!

I've only recently gotten into Pokemon collecting, but I quickly realized my true passion... terrible bootlegs. I love them. I don't mean crappy things, like scuffed paint or missing stitches. I mean figurines with completely wrong colors, missing limbs... the most ridiculous stuff I can find. And it is pretty easy to find them!

A big ol' pile of terrible booties. There's a ton here, about 48 1-inch tall figurines. They smell really strongly of plastic and something else that is probably slowly poisoning me, so I keep most of them in a drawer. I couldn't take a picture of each one individually, but I picked out some of my favourites to share with the world.

From left to right, Fat Joltik Slakoth, Captain Bluebeard & Sargeant No-Eyes

Derpchop and his brother, Naked Machoke.

Their father suffers from a horrible disease slowly spreading through his pelvis.

Probably one of my favourites, this poor Sableye was the victim of jewel thieves. He also can't stand up very well.

I named this one Avocado because he really just looks like he's covered in Guacamole or something. He sits on my desk

The only one with a stand, but it's crooked beyond repair, so it can't stand up anyway. She will never dance again!

A pikachu clock! With lipstick! It's apparently supposed to sing, but that doesn't really happen. There's a button in it's head, but that doesn't seem to do anything.

The buttgears change the time, but there's no way to lock them. So I guess if you have/want one of these be careful when rubbing it all over yourself, you might go back in time.

I would have enjoyed this watch a lot more if it hadn't broken within five seconds of being set. I kind of expected it, but I figured I'd get a week of enjoyment out of it first. Oh well!

WAIT A SECOND, THESE AREN'T BOOTLEGS AT ALL. I do have some legit things, and by "some" I mean "this is all of it." Some cute Slowbros and a Slowking coin bank! Very much awesome.

There are a few other things that have yet to come in, I'll probably get some better pictures when that is a thing that happens!

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