Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Couldn't be arsed to clean the table first

Oh gosh! A package?! A package upon which the addresses have been mysteriously blurred out? What could possibly be inside???

Oh gosh, I'm so excited, what could it beeee?

Balls of trash! Just what I've always wanted!

No, wait, it's... lurn keychains! What I've always wanted slightly more than balls of trash!

They look really nice. One of them is a bit concave, which makes me laugh. They're also hard as shit. I was expecting something a bit softer, I guess? Shrinkydinks are neat.

Sweet Snake agrees!

Friday, August 12, 2011

sharky shut up

Ah, mod applications. The whole business is terribly amusing. Everyone running around, making two-dimensional attempts to look good in front of staff so they'll get chosen.

What kills me is that people actually put "I mini-mod a lot" on their applications. A tip; we don't like minimods. It's one thing if someone reminds a new user that they can't advertise, but some people habitually use enforcing rules as an excuse to yell at users that annoy them.

You can't do that. You can't bend the rules and you can't dislike anybody.

Sure, there are people who I dislike on neurogalaxy. But I can't show that, not ever. A moderator is friendly and nice to everyone, regardless of how shitty they are. Even if they're practically spitting in your mouth, you've got to stand there and keep smiling. There have been times when I've been so pissed off I've had to leave the computer. But even then I haven't lashed out. I haven't said a thing.

The customer is always right. Just because we're nice doesn't mean we're not a business.

Also, on a completely unrelated matter:

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Why you will never work for Neurogalaxy

An informative guide for crushing dreams.
There are a lot of people who send us messages about joining the art staff of Neurogalaxy. They often send us items they've made and clothing they've drawn in order to entice us into hiring them. While we do genuinely appreciate those who want to help us, we have never hired anyone this way and probably never will.

If you want a short answer, you aren't good enough. There are a lot of deep misconceptions about the position in general that I've seen in about 100% of the people who want the job. Let me just clear some of those up right now.

I can draw whatever I want!
Well, yes, you are physically able to do that. You can draw whatever you want for NG as an Artist. But the question is, will it get used? More often then not, no. You can design NPCs, pet enchantments, items, whatever you want, but it's not up to you if they get used. If you make a ton of items and other nonsense based on your original characters, it will more than likely be outright rejected.

You don't decide what you work on. The admins tell you what to draw. If you don't do the work assigned to you, you're out.

It's easy to draw this stuff!

Right? Mercenary clothing has to be the simplest thing ever. Just some quick shading, aaaand done! Anyone can do this!

Sorry, but no. Mercenary clothing has a VERY strict set of rules in terms of color palette and shading style. In fact, the only people who can do it are Chiru and Kiaryi. Yeah, that's right; they're the only ones who can draw the clothing items. The process isn't simple, either. It involves a lot of resizing, shading, layer shenanigans and is very time-consuming.

Recoloring is super easy, I can do that!

Recoloring involves carefully picking out colors from existing items by looking through hundreds of clothes that exist on the site before any editing is done. It is an extremely tedious process, so no, you can't just choose colors by playing with the hue.

I can just draw items or pets, then!

There is no person on staff who only does one thing. Tyriel did programming and wrote book excerpts. Sgtdroopy wrote Lloud's stories and is working on updated the FAQ in addition to moderating. I won't even get into all the crap that the assistant admins do, lordy. My point is, you need to be multi-talented. Someone who can only draw pets or items is much less useful than someone who can do them both and more.

I can design clothes and NPCs and stuff too!

We really don't need any more people telling us what to draw. Our Artists can come up with clothes well enough on their own. We don't really need designers for NPCs, since none of them are especially deep or unique. They have some clothes, and some personality, and making those things isn't really a skill that we need an entire separate person to do.

Well... I'll work for free!

Not a single person has ever said this and been able to reproduce Neurogalaxy's style or meet our standards of quality. (If you've got the skill to get a job with us, you should really aim a bit higher than NG anyway.)

What? My art isn't BAD!

It probably isn't. But like I said, we have a standard of quality and a particular style that we adhere to with all of our items, mercenary clothes and pets.

Take a look at these two items; one from Subeta and the other from Neurogalaxy. They are vastly different, anyone should be able to tell that. One is brightly colored, and one has more small detail. But there are other things, too. The line width, the pose, the size, the palette; they are all carefully picked in both instances. It's not enough to be a good artist, you have to understand the things you are drawing. Everything it means, and everything it is.

That's what it means to be a professional artist.

That's so mean!

And that's why you won't work for NG. Nothing I've said was insulting; only a painful truth. I'm sorry if I've hurt any feelings, but these things need to be said. You can't take things like that personally if you want to have a job as an artist. Quite frankly, your career will be full of people ripping your art apart with critique. You need to have a good sense of humor or you'll be trampled.

This is a job, an actual profession, not a daycare.

You can be the most amazing artist in the world and still be fired for having a rotten attitude. It is like that in just about any job you take. Your skill will ALWAYS be second in the workplace to how well you can get along with the people around you. If you argue with the staff, or throw a fit, or complain too much then you WILL be fired.

None of that applies to me! I'm a great artist and a great person!

We don't hire out of the community. Applications are submitted to us through Agoge Inc.

Friday, March 18, 2011

what describes it pretty well

I got an email from my highschool, apparently they're having an alumni art sale in May and I've been invited to participate. I've been mapping out ideas, I feel kind of professional. Even though all my ideas are really gimmicky to cover up for the fact that all I can do is scribble chubby girls with pigtails, it still feels pretty awesome to make something worth selling.

Then I got bored and drew Nightwing and Damian as dickbutt.


Monday, March 14, 2011

Champtopia: Observations

Champtopia: Observations: "My drawing professor told me to draw more observational art. So I did. This is exactly what I observed. A gift sketch for a friend, who ..."


Saturday, March 12, 2011

putt putt putt putt

This video was posted two years ago.

Two years, and I am only seeing it just now.

What am I doing with my life

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Let me show you them

WELP, it turns out I'm a geek. Or maybe I'm a nerd, or a dork, I don't even know. They're all little words that mean things and I don't feel like trying to understand those things, because they are dumb things.

What was I talking about? Oh! I'm something. I'm something that collects figurines, whichever word means someone who does that. No, I don't mean collector, because my collection itself is so random I think someone who actually does this as a hobby might be a little offended. This is the internet, I can't go around offending people, now can I?

But back on some semblance of a topic, I have things because I am something, and now there are pictures of those things.

I had meant to make a lightbox, but it turns out that something that I am is probably just lazy because I didn't feel like it. Also I didn't have the supplies. So I did what real photographers do (when drunk), and threw a dirty pillowcase over my desk and snapped some pictures.

I didn't want you to go and expect any semblance of quality from me, after all!

I bought these a while ago. Not as a collector, I bought them because... well, look at them. It's Solid Snake and company as little girls. I couldn't just... not own it. Probably the most expensive thing in my collection, imported from Asialands.

They're in pretty good shape, but I am missing a few things. Otacon's glasses and Ocelot's revolver. Raiden had his sword privileges revoked because he dropped the damn thing too many times, so I gave it to Ocelot.

A tiny Klarion! I was looking into stuff related to him earlier, and found out he had a Heroclix figure. Apparently Heroclix is some kind of game? I don't know, all the figures for it are terribly goofy looking, with huge eyes and weird poses. They're also super small, so there's that.

It was a phase okay leave me alone

Those are just some general things I picked up because I have incredibly weird taste. That feels like it should be a segue into me revealing that I have a more respectable collection full of completely normal things, but it turns out what I have the most of is even weirder!

I've only recently gotten into Pokemon collecting, but I quickly realized my true passion... terrible bootlegs. I love them. I don't mean crappy things, like scuffed paint or missing stitches. I mean figurines with completely wrong colors, missing limbs... the most ridiculous stuff I can find. And it is pretty easy to find them!

A big ol' pile of terrible booties. There's a ton here, about 48 1-inch tall figurines. They smell really strongly of plastic and something else that is probably slowly poisoning me, so I keep most of them in a drawer. I couldn't take a picture of each one individually, but I picked out some of my favourites to share with the world.

From left to right, Fat Joltik Slakoth, Captain Bluebeard & Sargeant No-Eyes

Derpchop and his brother, Naked Machoke.

Their father suffers from a horrible disease slowly spreading through his pelvis.

Probably one of my favourites, this poor Sableye was the victim of jewel thieves. He also can't stand up very well.

I named this one Avocado because he really just looks like he's covered in Guacamole or something. He sits on my desk

The only one with a stand, but it's crooked beyond repair, so it can't stand up anyway. She will never dance again!

A pikachu clock! With lipstick! It's apparently supposed to sing, but that doesn't really happen. There's a button in it's head, but that doesn't seem to do anything.

The buttgears change the time, but there's no way to lock them. So I guess if you have/want one of these be careful when rubbing it all over yourself, you might go back in time.

I would have enjoyed this watch a lot more if it hadn't broken within five seconds of being set. I kind of expected it, but I figured I'd get a week of enjoyment out of it first. Oh well!

WAIT A SECOND, THESE AREN'T BOOTLEGS AT ALL. I do have some legit things, and by "some" I mean "this is all of it." Some cute Slowbros and a Slowking coin bank! Very much awesome.

There are a few other things that have yet to come in, I'll probably get some better pictures when that is a thing that happens!

Friday, March 4, 2011

bum bum BUM...

Well, I failed. I made a little list, and I told myself I couldn't update until I had finished all of those things. So far about two out of seven of the comics I had planned are done, and I think it's time I admit defeat. There was something I had wanted to talk about, but we are quickly reaching a point where that thing is not relevant.

I've been reading more comics lately, batman in particular. Cape comics fascinate me, with their long history and continuities. Somehow, the character that interested me the most had almost nothing to do with Batman at all.
Klarion the witch-boy. He was goofy and weird, which is apparently all it takes for me to love a character. I ended up going back and reading everything I could find with him in it, which unfortunately isn't that much.

When I found out he was going to be in an episode of Young Justice, I was beyond excited.

I don't like it, and I could leave it at that, but it's never that simple with me. I don't like it, and now I'm gonna ramble on for a few paragraphs with every little reason as to why.
Klarion is not a character with a lot of deep motivations or a particularly complicated history. He's just a kid who wants to see all the cool stuff our world has to offer. He lived his whole life being told that nothing existed outside of the boundries of that small town he was born in, deep underground.

That same simplicity is what drew me to him. He is motivated by curiousity, plain and simple. He has saved lives, he has done good and he has done bad, but at the end all he is loyal to is himself and his cat.

But from what I can tell, people just see "the witch-boy" and stop reading. Yes, he is a boy, as opposed to a man. Why does that immidiately mean he is nothing but a spoiled brat, tossing magic around and whining when he doesn't get what he wants?
That isn't what his title means at all. He is a witch-boy because he learned a truth that only witch-men know and laughed in its face. Klarion cut ties with Limbo Town, never going through the rite of passage that usher its boys into adulthood. He never became a witch-man; he is a witch-boy.

He is a boy, yes, and he is as much of a whiny brat as I am responsible by the grace that I am legally an adult. Reading this blog for about five minutes will reveal that it's simply not true.

Of course, I could only be saying this because I haven't been able to get my hands on any pre-Seven Soldiers Klarion stuff besides the Sins of Youth special, so I could very well be talking out of my ass.

There was going to be a second half here, one more intelligent than DERR CHARACTER ROOENED. Here is what happened to it

+ a link back to my blog, because you know my stuff is totally awesome and famous and will be reposted everywhere, yup.

(That was sarcasm, I was being sarcastic on the internet)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

No this is not what I ordered at all

I promised witchboys! And I lied. That is a thing I do, I lie. I lie about where those stains came from, or what I was doing last night, and I lie about the dumb things I put on my blog. I actually got ahold of some animation stuffies. I promptly went on a spree of poorly drawn scribblegifs, because scribbling is what I do best apparently.

Most of these were requests from people on NG.

Someone's yellow/devolved Yarrul, dancing. This was actually drawn later, when I cared enough to stay inside the lines, haha.

Dancing blooper. A lot of these are "dancing ___" actually.

Bnowhunon riding a giant possessed potato.

Candypanda eating cheese.

A cow eating grass! I tried to make it a little more complicated, because the person who requested it had drawn me this earlier, but it ended up dumb and choppy and I forgot to color in the udders. A++

This was the first one I did, someone asked for a duck. But... this is the only kind of bird I can draw.

 A unicorn. I arbitrarily decided to style it after one I was familiar with, but realized a bit too late that unicorns and pegasi are in fact not the same thing.

A friend's dog dancing.
Superboy punching a wall.

I just combined two requests here, a cat tapdancing and a cat chasing a butterfly. So... it's a cat tapdancing at a butterfly.

Some kind of barn owl. I drew a brown penguin about four times before deciding I should look at what barn owls actually look like.

This was the finale between an epic battle between myself and friend, who happens to be an admin on Neurogalaxy! It began with some comments about Jason Todd, afterwhich admin powers were abused to assault my effigy in his name, efforts that were deftly countered and then once more.

I believe I have emerged victorious from that battle.